[CTQ Smartcast] "How I Rewired" (And How You Can Too)
“What do you do when your life turns upside down? How do you react? Is there a way you can prepare for it?”
One day, when she was 13, Sirisha Bhamidipati woke up to a mystery fever. Soon, she found she could no longer use her trusted left hand. Within a day, she was left completely paralysed. The dreams of this top student were turned upside down overnight.
From there, how did she top the boards, go to an IIM, lead teams, and win a Fulbright Scholarship? Sirisha’s lessons on resilience, rewiring herself, and fighting the odds have many a lesson for all of us.
Listen to Part 1 of this special Smartcast
(Read the transcript)
In Part 2, she gives insight into how we can learn to deal with the vagaries of life.
(Read the transcript)
TRANSCRIPT OF THIS CTQ SMARTCAST - PART 1
Sirisha Bhamidipati: In a span of 24 hours, from a healthy kid, I was transformed into a log where nothing below my neck was moving. It was only my eyes that were that I could look around and I could hear. And I was mentally alert, all through this, I knew what was going on with me.
Sanasi Kelkar: Today we are going to speak to someone who is the practical embodiment of resilience. Someone who has had to overcome sudden adversity multiple times in life, and having to rewire herself against great odds not once but again and again.
Welcome, everyone, to the Choose to Thinq Smartcast. It has been months since all of us have been in this very surreal environment of lockdowns and isolation. Obviously, no one saw it coming, life changed for us overnight. And slowly as we came to terms with it, we are grappled by problems that we have no real training or no answers for. Everyone's got their own problems. Will my job stay, with my occupation stay relevant? How do I pay my bills? How do I repay my loans? And how do I do all this while taking care of the young, of the old? And with no social support in a time of financial uncertainty, and yet stay sane, healthy, and optimistic at the same time. But if this is a bleak start you feel, just hold your heart because we have some answers that you might find interesting.
Here's introducing you to Sirisha, who is one remarkable person you will meet. She works as a consultant, helping corporates grow to 10x [00:02:00] by building the right culture. She's a graduate of IIM-A, she's a Fulbright Scholar, having studied at Stanford and Carnegie Mellon. Over two decades, she has been helping complexly large organizations and teams in management and learning and following her motto of obviously coaching individuals to be the best that they can be. But this is just about the work that she can do. In-person, she is the all smiling, radiant, eternal optimist, whom you will always find naturally drawn towards even if you don't know her well. Be with her for a few minutes, and you will think that everything is so easy and effortless.
It really came as a shock a few days ago, when I had to research her life story. It was so surreal and disconnected from the Sirisha that I had come to know that we just knew that we had to bring her story to you, especially in these times when you need all the help you can to deal with adversity and to learn how to make changes in your life on the fly. Sirisha, Welcome to the CTQ Smartcast.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Thank you, Sanasi.
Sanasi Kelkar: We know you at Choose to Thinq of course as the one with the most incredible work ethic and who one can count on to get the job done.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Thank you so much.
Sanasi Kelkar: We begin your story, basically when you were just 13 years old. Till then it had been sort of a smooth enough ride. You were a fun kid who loved academics, who loved sports, and was so confident of becoming a neurosurgeon that you would sign your name as Dr. Sirisha, FRCS London.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: I should probably say I had a very exciting childhood, in the sense that until I was 13, my worldview was my school and my cycle and I also used to play the veena. That was my worldview of things, and [00:04:00] I was like any other happy teenager. And until one day, all of a sudden I was feeling very unwell. I'm not the kind who would ever want to miss school. But I ended up staying back at home for a couple of days because of severe fever and acute body ache. In a couple of days, suddenly, I woke up and I realized I couldn't lift my left hand and I was always a natural left-hander. We thought maybe I slept on that hand or something was wrong. They took me to the hospital. Within six hours, I couldn't move a part of my right hand also. Things looked serious, so my parents quickly took me to a bigger hospital, a super specialty hospital. And there they said they want to get some tests done, some X-rays done.
I stood up, sat in the wheelchair, went to the X-ray room, and I stood up to get the X-ray done and just collapsed. It took us probably a few minutes to realize that everything, even my back and my legs got completely paralyzed by then. In a span of 24 hours, from a healthy kid, I was transformed into a log, that nothing below my neck was moving. It was only my eyes that I could look around, and I could hear. And I was mentally alert all through this, I knew what was going on with me.
Sanasi Kelkar: That's just crazy. Because even to hear it, and even to go through it, as you experience it, you know that it can't, I mean, it must be one of the biggest shocks, and no one knew back then, but you had been struck with spinal meningitis, which can happen to anyone really. And something that can cause severe brain damage, if not death in the first 24 hours, itself.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Yeah, right. [00:06:00] In fact, it was very strange the way it came. And because meningitis apparently is not that fast in the way it appears. And there could be other symptoms. It always starts from the bottom. There were all kinds of guesses that were done at that time. But what seemed closer was spinal meningitis. Like you were mentioning, it could result in brain damage or a bigger risk is respiratory failure. That's when they immediately rushed me to the ICU. Two months, I was put in the ICU, with literally nobody, my parents being around and probably half an hour a day, an hour in a day, they would let my friends and other members of the family come and visit me. That was two months, in the ICU, with all ventilators and everything ready to be connected to me at any point in time, in case I had some breathing issues.
But luckily, two months, nothing further happened. I was in the same state, there was no change. I couldn't move anything below my neck, but at the same time, I didn't develop any kind of breathing disorder or didn't have any kind of brain damage. That's when the doctors came to my parents and said, look, we can now shift her to her room if you want because there's good news and bad news. The good news, brain didn't get damaged, no respiratory failure, so she's alive. Otherwise, apparently, later, my parents told me that when I was wheeled into the ICU itself, all through the two months, in fact, they've been telling them that there's barely any chance of me surviving. That was the good news, right? That I was alive. The bad news was they said, nothing could be done, the damage is irreversible. Because of the way it got affected, so [00:08:00] she lives like this the rest of her life. She won't be able to move, and you need to care for her, take care of her. The only thing that they suggested then was to keep moving her hands and legs so that stiffness and other things don't set in. And I don't develop bedsores and other things, because I'm lying on the bed all through the day. That's what the doctors had pronounced.
Sanasi Kelkar: As I know, because I've read about you a few days ago, that this was just one of the many major setbacks that you were about to face time and time again. But before we get to those, do you remember what helped you in those moments, when you were faced with that choice of either taking the doctor's opinion and just doing the bare minimum that you needed to do to prevent those bed sores or just follow the fate that had been laid out for you, versus what your parents actually did? Which was to choose to fight?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Yeah, I don't remember at that point what I did because it was mostly what my parents, my brother, were telling me and doing. At that time, we came back home. It was a shock. But it was not like my parents didn't accept what the doctor said, they said the problem is serious, we got to figure it out. But they said let's fight it out. There's no harm in you doing exercise. My father was a sportsperson all through his student days and he used to do a lot of weightlifting, and he also was a pole world champion in the university then. That's when my father said, we will exercise. There's nothing wrong with exercising, instead of doing just a little, we try doing what best we can. In fact, I remember exercising [00:10:00] was extremely painful, my body was always in pain. Even the very fact that somebody comes, status quo, if I was just sleeping on the bed, also, it was hurting, and somebody coming and touching and moving, it was an enormous amount of pain.
Exercise obviously was not the preferred option for me, but then my father, knowing me, said he's not going to buy me a wheelchair. The moment you get a wheelchair home; you're going to get very comfortable with it. We were not going to buy a wheelchair, and he offered to actually carry me everywhere. Till the time, I'm sure you will be able to sit and get back on your feet. But till the time you do that, I'm going to carry you everywhere. Imagine with all the medication that I was given, my weight increased from something like 40 kilos to 100 kilos, in those two months, because I was just pumped with steroids. 100 kilos, he said, I'll take you everywhere. And he started lifting me. That actually triggered that thought of wanting to exercise and get back to myself, because you always don't want somebody to take you everywhere and you don't want to be dependent on them. Probably at that point, had my parents given up and got me a wheelchair, things would have been very different. I think it's all about deciding what to do. But at the same time, at every point, they were saying that look, this is what it is, we are doing our best, we'll all work towards it and do our best, in fact, to an extent that I was exercising almost eight hours a day.
At no point were my expectations too high. They ensured I knew [00:12:00] it is not going to be a magical transformation, it's going to be a journey, a very, very hard one. But there is a possibility of me getting there because it's all about building that strength back and getting my legs to move. That's when I had those slight trigger moments in my toes, that's when they said let's keep moving. Maybe one day those triggers in the nerves will again start. They didn't let go of the fact, they accepted the problem. They knew how serious it was, so they kept talking to me about it. They were always very transparent, clear, and didn't give me any false hopes. We were having a lot of candid conversations at home. But they made sure that I pushed myself and I think the entire environment set up around me was where everybody was pushing me to do my best.
Sanasi Kellar: We have this incredibly arduous journey of clawing back to a semblance of a normal life, where you learned how to sit first, then to stand, then to walk one step. And it took you two years to hold a pencil in your hand. And from there, you went on to top the 12th standard boards. How did you manage to pull that one out?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: It was a lot of work; I think I had to spend twice the time because I wanted to study. Initially, after I got sick for the first eight-nine months, I was always doing well at school, so my school promoted me. That period of eight months I had before the next academic year started, that I could work on my body. My father set a goal for me saying, in eight months, we'll make sure you're at least able to sit, so that we are able to start going to school. That was a lot of exercise. Finally, I remember when I started sitting, it was like sitting for 5 seconds, 10 seconds before I collapsed. [00:14:00] And then 15 seconds. We were timing how much time I could sit. With a lot of exercises, making attempts to stand and all, in eight months, I got to a stage where I could sit. But sitting for seven-eight hours was difficult, so we got a custom chair built with lots of cushions and everything around which could support my body. Then again came the choice of do I miss an academic year? Or do I go back to school? I wanted to go back to school, I desperately wanted to go back to school. My parents were worried that I would not focus on exercise if I start going back to school. The deal was I can go back to school provided I come back and work out for four hours every day.
Sanasi Kelkar: I see.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: My father used to carry me to school, put me in the class, and obviously I couldn't write or anything. There was an enormous amount of support from my teachers and friends in school. Anybody who would finish the note first would start writing notes for me and the teachers, if I wasn't understanding anything, there was something that they could help me out with, they would all do that, especially in practicals, and everything. Everybody made sure I was as comfortable as possible in school, and I had a good grasping capacity, so just by listening to teachers in the class, I could understand most of the lessons because I had very little time to go back home and study. Immediately after school at four, my dad used to take me directly to exercise, we used to go to the university to walk around and move around and practice, do all kinds of exercises for us and I would come back home only around 8:30. By then I would be dead tired, and wouldn't have had any time to study later. But I think my interest or keenness in academics helped me to get back to my studies.
And of course, all of this wouldn't have been possible without all the support that I got from my brother, my parents, my teachers, [00:16:00] and friends at school. Then slowly I started being able to hold a pencil with my right hand. I was a natural left-hander, so I had to learn. My left hand wasn't moving, because that was the first effect and they said it was the most affected. I started learning to write with my right hand. It took me a long time to get back to my writing speed. The school provided me with writers for my exams. I still remember the celebration we had when I stood first in my class again. We also had an equally big celebration when I could walk my first few steps on my own. It was both things happening in parallel. Very few people probably get to witness their childhood and remember every single step that they've taken, or all the falls, so I got a chance to see all of that.
Sanasi Kelkar: I think that's pretty cool, that having these small goals, which you can achieve, and then really celebrating those achievements was something that really pushed you on.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Yeah, that was primary motivation, the small goals, getting to those, we had an incredibly big goal in mind. But the easiest way was setting those smaller goals and milestones for myself. That's how I continued this all the way till my 12th. Topping it was one of the best things that could have happened to me at that time.
Sanasi Kelkar: You always wanted to become a doctor. So, you got into the medical college of your dreams, to find yourself back on track to becoming the doctor that you always wanted to be. But then that wasn't the end of it. You were told that you weren't fit enough to become a doctor because you couldn't operate your left hand, which was required for the mandatory surgery paper. [00:18:00]
Sirisha Bhamidipati: When I look back, it seemed funny, strange, because after 10th, we had to pick the subjects that we wanted to study, depending on the stream we wanted to go into. At that time when I started exercising and getting back, there was some semblance of normalcy. I rekindled my dreams of becoming a doctor again. The academic part, the medical entrance was always known to be very tough, and all of that. The academic rigor that was needed, I was confident I would be able to manage, but I wasn't sure if I'll be allowed to be a doctor because my left hand was not functioning, and my right hand was partially functioning.
That's when we actually went and took professional advice from professors in medical colleges, saying, can I really become a doctor? And all of them gave a unanimous answer that I could become a doctor, but I can't become a surgeon and couldn't be eligible to take anything around surgery. But I could always become a physician. So immediately the kid that I was, when I was in my fourth and fifth standards, I used to remember signing off my name as Sirisha, FRCS, London. I immediately, very easily changed it to Sirisha, FRCP London. I was pretty confident I could do it and worked really hard, very, very hard those two years. Because I also had to manage my exercises. By then I could walk on my own, and I could walk up to around seven, eight kilometers at a stretch. I could stand for long periods of time and I could do everything with my right hand, I could manage all my daily chores with my right hand. That took a lot of hard work.
I got a good rank in the medical entrance which could have got me admission into one of the very good [00:20:00] medical colleges back in Hyderabad. As part of the admission process, there was a medical examination that I had to go through. It was a routine procedure, all students had to go through that. I underwent the medical examination, and I get the letter the next day saying I'm denied admission. It was shocking.
We went to find out what happened. The authority said that from that year surgery was made a compulsory subject in the first year. They said if you couldn't do it, it's mandatory that you clear your first year before you can move ahead. They said, since you can't do it, you can’t join the course. For them, it was a very simple, factual, objective statement. But it was earth-shattering for me because it was like my dreams, and I could see somebody taking away my dreams from me. Then we wanted to figure out what was needed. They said I could go and appeal to the Medical Council of India. So we did that. We had to go to a different city to do that. We did that. There also, we got the same response. They said, since it's a rule, we cannot give you an exemption from it. I was begging the officials saying can you do something? Can you help in some way? But their decision was very clear. That was probably one of the few times where I was totally depressed. That was probably one of the first times I started asking ‘why me?’
Sanasi Kelkar: But then you chose, you obviously chose to look at the things that were available to you. Just take us through that. How you forced yourself to look at the windows that opened rather than the doors that were being shut.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: [00:22:00] All this drama of wallowing in self-pity, when I look back, wallowing in self-pity went on for quite some time. Two-three months, I was totally off. I said this is the end, and I really can't do anything more, the world is being very unfair to me, that kind of thing. After a few days, I think it was time for me to make a choice. I knew I had to move on. That's when the options I had in front of me were humanities, arts, and BCA.
BCA, Bachelors in Computer Applications, that was the first year that course had started. Between the medical entrance examination and the actual admission process, I had a good four months. Usually, some of these get very delayed. So I had like four and a half months with me. I generally went and wrote this entrance and got a good rank. But now, it was six months into the course, and because I got the admission, then the actual college had started, and then the medical examination and then my admission was denied, then all my appeals to NCI, Medical Council of India, and all of this took about six and a half months of time. In December that year, that was the last phase of counseling that was possible for BCA. I said, okay, I'll go for it. While I started college, the first few days, I didn't enjoy it, I never wanted to be a part of it, I didn't want to go to the college. But if I look back, I think during that entire period, while my parents empathized with me a lot. My parents, my brother, were aware of what I was going through, they agreed that I had the right to feel bad. But they always kept telling me that you always have two choices, you wallow in self-pity and stay where you are or pick up and move on [00:24:00]. And then a bunch of other things happened. So I said, let me start studying. That's when I had to rewire myself again. Because computers were not a subject that I ever imagined I would study. The challenge was my left hand was not functioning, so I had to type with a single hand. I had four months before my university exams. That was as tough as it could get. There were eight subjects that I had to study, except English, which was another subject. The other seven I had no clue of what they were, didn't even understand the basics of programming. At that time programming and other things were not commonly taught in school. So I had no clue. But then I decided I had to pick up. One thing I realized is probably over all the experiences that I had until that time, if I made up my mind to do something, it was easy for me to create a plan for myself and start studying.
That's how I started studying for my BCA and did very well those three years I topped the university, and then again was a point of decision where it was a choice of whether I continue in the computer science field or whether I move to management. Management was something that I found interesting and always intrigued me. That’s when I decided to write the CAT, the Common Admission Test that is written for getting into most of the B schools in India.
Sanasi Kelkar: That's the remarkable thing that you just choose to do the CAT and get into management, and you managed to get calls from all IIMs except one. And then you go on to choose IIM Ahmedabad. Eventually, you met your husband there, got married, had the first of two kids. And down the line, you met a surgeon who showed you a bright ray of hope, an experimental surgery that could revitalize [00:26:00] your left hand, which had been immobile all these years. So you make that another big decision of going under the knife, which is a big step to take because you're changing your status quo massively. And it's a risky one. Then it doesn't work out, not like the previous ones, you somehow managed to clear the hurdle in your own way. But this one sets you back, at least physically. So what did you go through during this change?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: This was a very interesting phase because until then, things happened to me. This was when I brought something onto myself, especially in terms of my health. Exercising is a given thing for me for the rest of my life. Constantly exercising, making sure I'm staying fit. A couple of years after my first kid was born, I was working out, I used to go to a gym. That’s when I met a doctor who was a brachial plexus surgeon. Simply put, what he does is if someone loses mobility in one hand anywhere in the upper body, because of a fall or an accident, or whatever, usually when people climb trees and fall down, they end up paralyzing their hand. What he does is, he takes muscles from other parts of the body, muscles, which are stronger, and places them in the part that is not functioning and does all the nerve connections, and then the hand starts working simply because the nerves are still sending the messages. And you have a working muscle there. With the minimal amount of physiotherapy, your body adapts to it, and it starts working. Apparently, there are a lot of places in the human body where you have extra muscles, compensating the other muscles, so there is no harm in picking one muscle. This is what in layman's terms [00:28:00], the doctor explained to me and he said even in your case, I'm 200% confident that it's going to work. So let's go for it.
I did all the research. For me, this was very tempting, because by then I came to accept that my left hand is not working, and that's how it's going to be. But I was figuring out how best I can do what I can do with one working hand which is partially working, and my legs which are decently working, I could manage everything on my own. It was tempting, because again, it was a new ray of hope, maybe both my hands are going to be working again. So why not take the call? Purely my decision, I agreed to go under the knife. The plan was in my legs, my right leg was reasonably stronger. They said they'll pick one muscle from my right thigh and put it in my left hand, it was a 12-hour surgery and they said after the surgery, 48 hours we will put you under observation. If in 48 hours nothing happens then the surgery is successful. So 48 hours went by, I was perfectly fine. No pain whatsoever. My hand and everything were completely plastered, and they said the surgery was successful. In fact, the doctor had left for another surgery in Bombay. Around 72 hours later, I started having severe pain in my hand and that is not a good sign. So they cut the plastic open and they saw that my left hand was turning blue. That was scary. They said your body is rejecting the muscle, there's some sepsis setting in there. We need to put you under the knife again to take out the muscle and set back all your connections so that you don't lose your sensory power. And the blood flow and everything else is normal. So again, I went through surgery. This time it was longer, a 16 hour one because they had to undo a lot of things and redo a lot of things. [00:30:00]
Because my right leg was cut, it was again very difficult for me to walk. I had to again learn to balance weight on both the legs and all of that. In short, the outcome of this was, I ended up with a muscle lesser in my leg, a muscle lesser in my hand, and a lot of scars on my hand, all over and my chest, because of all the cuts that they had done. Again, a lot of emotionally draining pieces because I went through an enormous amount of pain, bouts of pain again. This created a condition where my body was psychologically, even the slightest of things, my body was perceiving it as severe pain. It took me even longer to get back to my strength levels. But when I look back, because it was my decision, do I ever regret or have any regrets for having made that decision? Or while this real surgery failed? Did it really fail? I don't think so. Because for me, this makes me much stronger, because I know that I have shown the courage to try. It also taught me that I could try anything, and try as many times as I want, even if I fail. At times when I encounter situations where I fail at something, and I have to restart the entire process, when I think of this, then it seems to me that's okay, you fail and you try again. So that's what life is all about.
Sanasi Kelkar: That was Sirisha’s extraordinary journey. In part two of this interview, we pick her brain for tips on how to develop the skills and mindset to be resilient and ready for whatever comes our way. We'll see you then in part two. [00:32:00]
[End of Part 1]
TRANSCRIPT OF THIS CTQ SMARTCAST - PART 2
Sirisha Bhamidipati: First step, I think is, to pause and let the whole thing sink in. It will take time, there'll be emotions, but let the whole thing sink in. Step two is, actually see, now given whatever it is, given the new situation that you're in, what are the possibilities or opportunities that you have? What are the different things that you can do? And once you know what are the different things that you can do, the next step is to detail out how do you want to go about reaching where you want to reach.
Sanasi Kelkar: Welcome to the Choose to Thinq Smartcast. We are continuing our conversation with Sirisha. If you haven't heard part one of this episode yet, here's a recap of why we are privileged to have someone like Sirisha share her great wisdom and knowledge with us.
Today, we are in the middle of a pandemic still, which took all of us by shock a few months ago. There are ways to handle this better, and we stand to gain from the wisdom of those who in their lives have had enough struggles to deal with adversity and have developed tools to be resilient and to bounce back. And that's Sirisha.
Sirisha was just 13 years old when an infection caused her sudden inexplicable paralysis. In the span of a day she went from an exuberant and brilliant teenager to someone battling for her life in intensive care. Faced by doctors who gave her a zero chance of recovery, she and her family chose to snub the cards that they had been dealt with and fought back one painful step at a time. Exercising eight hours a day refusing a wheelchair and continuing schooling through all these odds, she went on to top the class 12th boards. Her dream was to become a doctor and she had fought back from total paralysis to be able to write, to walk, to move. But with just one strong arm, [00:02:00] she couldn't do surgery which was a requisite for her medical degree, and she was denied a chance to pursue medicine. That seemed like a good time to give up. But no, she changed her paths, choosing the unknown world of computers, banking, and management. She went on to IIM Ahmedabad, became a Fulbright Scholar, studying at Stanford and Carnegie Mellon.
Today, an amazingly gifted mentor to both companies and individuals, along with being a fabulous mom to two wonderful kids, Sirisha helps complexly large organizations scale 10 times over and assists individuals to achieve their potential. Her inputs are invaluable to companies who seek her out to get difficult things done.
In part one, we went through her story. So if you have the time, we urge you to listen to it as well, because it is a fascinating tale of grit and determination that'll inspire you all. But today, we go a step further and pick her brains to help gather tools we might need to get out of any dark tunnel that life throws us into.
So welcome again Sirisha. It is very humbling and at the same time, really exciting to talk to you about how you brought about this incredible change in your life. Something that we hope to learn so that we can do it in our lives as well whenever the need arises. We'll go back to your life a bit. And one of the questions that all of us think of when we hear your story is you were only 13 when you got the first shock of your life, which was that the news that you're going to be paralyzed for life, the possibility. Do you remember what it was like? And how does one claw out of a shock like that?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Yeah. At that time, I think what I remember is it was one jolt after another hitting us. We didn't expect that verdict to be given by doctors. And at that point, [00:04:00] when I was asked, if I remember, it was my dad who asked me, so what do you want to do? I said I want to go back to school. He said, yes, that's it. We will make sure you're going back to school. That's how I think if I look back, it was my family, my parents, and my brother who got me started on my physiotherapy and got me to work really hard to make sure I get back on track and I start going to school.
What I realized when I think back is it's a lot of empathy that they showed and there was absolutely no sympathy, there was no chance that one could play the victim card at home. That's how we were always brought up also. So while growing up whenever there was any problem in the house, we were a very large extended family. My father's 11 brothers and sisters and my mom has six brothers and sisters. So extended family. And anytime there was any problem, it was a very objective discussion that used to happen at home - be it financial, be it any other health issues with people at home. It could be any kind of other challenges that we face. It was an objective discussion. Here's the problem. How do we solve the problem? So because of that, grooming all through, even here, we said, okay, now if I want to go back to school, what is the bare minimum that I need to do? I should at least learn how to sit. That's how the whole physiotherapy and scheduling and everything started.
Sanasi Kelkar: Right. But if you think of it back then, you made some really tough decisions about your health. Even the fact that doctors were telling you that there's no out of this, it's probably going to be like this [00:06:00] for life. You decided to focus on what you wanted to do and find ways to go about that, you as a family. How does one make difficult decisions? Do you recommend any steps?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: I think it's the dreams that we all as a family dreamt of that helped. We said, you still have to get back. Not putting down the doctors or something, but the doctors said that the good news is you're alive, and the bad news is you're going to be like this for the rest of your life. Then we said why? What has happened to my body was something where my nervous system got infected. And that was reversible. A part of it could be reversed with rigorous physiotherapy. We said there's nothing wrong if we try. If we wouldn't have tried then the rest of my life, I would have just been the way I was. We said we will not give up trying.
Likewise, even later, when I went through surgery when a doctor spoke to me about muscle grafting and said we could try taking a muscle from your leg and putting it in your hand to make it work, that was a very complex surgery, there was a risk of life. And it was a 12-hour long surgery, I would be put under general anaesthesia, so there could be other problems that could arise out of it. But we just said we want to try.
I think one thing life taught me is never to give up without trying. So, in terms of the decision-making process, I think it's the dreams that actually drive you, and at every stage, looking at what are things that you can control, what are things that you cannot control, and within the controllables, what is the best that you can do is the typical process we followed at every stage. One thing, which also played a very big role is the way, [00:08:00] we were looking at any problem. For every problem, there's the emotional part, and there's the real problem. Sometimes problems manifest into something really big because of a lot of emotional emotions playing. At home, always, everybody was very balanced when it came to decision-making. There were emotions when we've encountered problems, but when it came to the decision-making, it was very balancing. If we keep the emotions aside, what is the real problem that we are actually trying to fight? And then objectively look at how do you solve that problem.
Sanasi Kelkar: In fact, you hit the nail probably, because if you think about it, when you're emotionally aroused, it makes it very difficult for you to think rationally. And even faced with a problem, often you get caught up in that situation, and the emotions of that situation. You make it difficult for yourself also to get out of it. So do you recommend a step, the first step that you should pursue, or the first three things you should do if you're faced with something and you see yourself getting drawn into the emotions of it rather than the way out of it?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: First step, I think is, to pause and let the whole thing sink in. It will take time, there'll be emotions, but let the whole thing sink in. Step two is, now given whatever it is, given the new situation that you're in, what are the possibilities or opportunities that you have? What are the different things that you can do? And once you know what are the different things that you can do, the next step is to detail out how do you want to go about reaching where you want to reach. For all of this, I think the ultimate True North Star is having some big lofty dreams, where you're shooting for the stars.
Sanasi Kelkar: And once you decide to do something [00:10:00], what do you do? Do you shut out all the other possibilities, the other parts that you would have chosen mentally?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: If I talk about getting admission into the medical school, but then being denied admission after the college actually started, I started attending it. And that's when I was denied medical admission, at that point, it would have been irrational if I said that I will try it again the next year. Some opportunities were naturally shut and then there were all other possibilities, whether I would take up arts and do something around it, whether I would take up other subjects and look at writing Civil Services, whether I go for computer applications? At that point, the rational decision-making part was what is it that I would probably be interested in? And where is it that some skills that I have, I can use them? And I have a genuine interest and motivation from within to actually pursue that field.
Sanasi Kelkar: Right. In fact, there's a follow-up to this question which Ankita, one of our colleagues has for you. How important is it to hold on to dreams? And when do you know it's time to let them go or replace them?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: As long as things are in your control, I think I've always believed in holding on to my dreams, but also constantly reflect, be rational in thinking to see when is it that things are beyond your control. That's when you let go of that. But again, you create another dream for yourself, which again, is a bigger, loftier version where a lot of things are in your control.
Sanasi Kelkar: Omkar has a question, which is sort of linear to this, which is at various points, when you decided to rewire, it seemed as if you had a choice between new realities, there were two different paths. But both were new to you. They were new normals. What helped you pick the ones that you did over the others?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: [00:12:00] At every stage, if I look at it, when I had moved from medicine to computer science. And when I made a conscious call of moving from computer science to going ahead and doing an MBA, or in fact, even in my career when I was a well-paid banker, and I decided to move into technology when I was doing very well on the business side of it. And I decided to move into working around people and culture, all of these stages, I think it was a very conscious choice of the option that I was picking. Then there was no looking back. I spent a lot of time. My decisions were not instant, I spent a lot of time making all of these decisions. I had a phenomenal role played by a lot of mentors and coaches I had along the way, who would give me multiple perspectives, let me look at things from different points of view. I consciously made an effort to talk to a lot of people before I made every decision. But in the end, it was my decision. And once I had made my decision, I wasn’t looking back at things.
Sanasi Kelkar: Great. You mentioned that you became a great listener after this experience, that when you were listening to your lectures, whether they were in school because you weren't able to take your own notes, you were really good at academics, and you wanted to be in school so the motivation was really high. But you mentioned in one of our conversations that you became a great listener after this. Can you take us through this change? What do you mean? What makes you a good listener? And how to be one?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: What happened was, after six months, when I could sit with some amount of support, I said I wanted to go back to school. because that was the goal with which we were working at home. Saying, if I want to go back to school, the minimum that I should be able to do is just sit in the class. So I managed to learn to sit with some support. I could barely walk in the sense that if somebody was [00:14:00] holding me properly, giving me support, I could walk a few steps. That's when we say, I said I want to go back to school because for me getting back to school, getting back to friends, getting back to that academic setting seemed very important at that point in time. I couldn't write so whenever any of my friends, I think my classmates and teachers helped me a lot. Whoever finished writing first used to write down my notes. But then in class, I couldn’t make notes and that was standard nine and I was supposed to be taking a lot of notes when the teacher is also teaching in the class. That wasn't possible.
Now the only other part was how do I make it happen? I would sit in class with complete focus, silencing out everything around me and just listen to the teacher teaching, and that improved my overall listening ability. After listening intently to the teacher teaching in the classroom, I come back home and read it once, that would have been sufficient. Another reason that consciously led me to build this active listening ability was the deal with my dad was, you can go to school, but you need to work out, come back home and work out for four hours because we have a long way to go. Now, if you don't work out for four hours, you don't go to school the next day. That was tough because my school was ending at 3: 30, I would come back home at four o'clock and by 4:30, we would go for exercise and come back by 8:30. And I would be dead tired, I didn't have time to study. That's when I realized what happens in school is the only thing that I can do when it comes to studying for my exams also. That was the primary motivator for me at that point to go back to school. I was doing very well in school, I was completely enjoying myself in school. I said I want to go back and do the same thing.
That's how it got me to active listening [00:16:00] and mentally recalling a lot of things because the only way I could write the exams was with the help of a writer. I couldn't write myself. So there always used to be a writer. And I would need to dictate the answers to them. So that's how I think circumstances forced me to become a very active listener.
Sanasi Kelkar: Interesting that you mentioned this because I was just going to come to that point as well. That when you had to undergo this extreme physical change, especially for those who haven't heard the previous episode of this, you had to switch from your left hand to right hand. You were naturally a left-hander, but because you weren't able to move that hand, you had to switch to right-handedness. Then you had to narrate answers, instead of writing them yourself. How does change feel? And how long does it take before you get used to it? Is there a period which is most difficult and when you have to power through even if it is really tough to do it?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: The two changes or instances that you mentioned, were the ones where I didn't have any other option. My left hand was paralyzed. And because it was the first affected, I couldn't move anything in my hand. So I couldn’t write with my left hand. And later, after a lot of workouts, after probably about a year, a year and a half was when I could start holding up with my right hand and I could start writing decently well, with my right hand. My left hand was not moving, still, the fingers were not moving. So I didn't have an option, but to start learning how to do things with my right, because that was the only hand that was functional, where my fingers would move, and I could hold a pen in them. And from writing my own exams to narrating answers and getting someone else to write an exam, again, was not a choice. If I had to be in the academic system, that's how it would work. [00:18:00]
There were other places where I had a choice of going through that change or just saying that my older self is much better, and let me just stick to that. All of these times, I think what I figured out is change is very frustrating at times, like, for instance, I will be dictating something to the writer, and the writer, obviously is not one of your teachers of that subject or someone who understands it. Drawing diagrams in Biology used to be the most frustrating, or doing some geometric constructions. Because here, I would be trying to tell them how I want this, but I'm not able to express it. And the way I'm expressing it, the person who's actually doing it wasn't able to follow. So all of this became very frustrating. But then after a point in time, you know that this is how it is then you start adapting to it.
Then I started figuring out how I want things to be done. I remember, we had to draw the structure of a plant cell in my 9th standard, I think in my first term exam, I wanted her to draw the mitochondria at a place, nucleus at one place all of that I wanted it all to be very precise. I used to figure names for the shapes and tell her to draw the shape and tell her to draw the nucleus six centimetres from the top. That's how I figured that out. I think while you're going through the change, it gets very frustrating. But once you know that it's working for you and you're able to write the exams well, it's also equally rewarding. You feel happy about that process and then it becomes your new normal. I think the most often used word now right, “new normal”.
Sanasi Kelkar: I was wondering, frustration is something all of us face at different tasks [00:20:00] irrespective of even our ages. Even children nowadays, you hear that this is so unfair, why do I have to do this? Why can't I do this? Or whether it's us at work, where we feel, even if it's our internal conversation to ourselves, which is, it's easy to get stuck in that frustrated point. But you mentioned that there's a point where beyond frustration, there's an adaptation, where you have to move, you have to get your new skills and move on. Is there a thought process or even an environment that you can have to help you ease quickly from this frustration phase to the adaptation and getting on with it phase?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: I'll first talk about the process, and then the environment. The process of adapting to change is where you're actually spelling out your frustration. So that leads to adaptation. Because what happens is, when you're actually spelling out your frustration, you first realize that you're only tackling the symptoms. When you're frustrated, you're frustrated about, for example for me, I used to be frustrated with the writer. Because you're not the writer, and the writer just doesn't understand. This is what I used to come back home and tell my mom, and these were these conversations at home with parents where I used to say this getting very frustrating, because today, I think I would have lost marks in my paper, because the writer wasn't able to follow this, or I was dictating and the person who was writing was not writing at the pace at which I wanted, and so I couldn't finish everything within the stipulated time. All of that. Then, my parents used to say what actually happened? So digging deeper, keep asking questions, all the whys.
Like Simon Sinek says, keep asking why till you actually figure out what is the real problem. They used to keep asking what happened? [00:22:00] What can you do to make sure it doesn't happen again? So they used to give me a very patient ear, listen to all my venting out first, and then we used to come to, okay, what is the real problem? And how can I solve that problem in the next paper? That used to be the new armoury with which I used to go to the exam the next time. And then we figure that is working, something is not working. So we used to come back and change it.
I think, being open and flexible, actually having either conversation with someone where you come down to what is your root cause or conversations with your own self. That's the best way. If you can manage. Have conversations with your own self, trying to understand what is the real thing that is actually frustrating? And then get around to solving the problem. Now, this is frustration about not things that are in my control. But there's also frustration about you're not able to do things yourself, and you need a lot of help. And all of that, which at that point, things were beyond my control. All I knew was I'm exercising, I'm working out. I used to probably have those occasional outbursts, saying it's getting very tiring, and I'm not able to keep up with the energy levels. I want to just sit at home and study, this kind of thing. But at the end of the day, I think your ecosystem, which keeps showing you what is your final destination. Your ecosystem, who makes you uncomfortable with your current state, and always makes you work towards becoming better, a better version of yourself, whatever that better is, in the context, was something that started making me pick up all the broken pieces and start working hard again. I think over a period that got into me, so now if I get into a comfort zone, I constantly keep nudging myself, saying, you know what, you have to do something different, you're doing this [00:24:00] and you're very comfortable doing this but try aiming for something higher.
Sanasi Kelkar: That's some great tips there for all of us to handle those sorts of situations. So we'll go on to what you called co-conspirators in your journey, in your transformation. So you mentioned the support that you got first from your family then also from your peers and teachers, every step of the way when you were young especially and throughout your life as well. What they did you mentioned was they showed your empathy, but never pity. So I have two questions for you from both sides of the coin. One, suppose you are a mentor to someone. How does one show empathy but not pity? And two, as a person yourself, how does one stop going down that sinkhole of self-pity?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Sure. Co-conspirators are people who you take along, who you tell them this is what I want to achieve, and I want you to join in my journey to reach that destination. So you effectively become partners in crime. I've consciously been recruiting co-conspirators everywhere.
At home, for instance, because of this lockdown when there are lots of chores to be done in the house. The kids also have become my co-conspirators in making sure we are still able to manage everything and retain our energy levels to do all the work that all of us have to do.
Get people along, talk to them about what you want to do, and how you want to do it, and get them literally on board with you on that journey. I've been very conscious reaching out to people and making sure if there is something that someone can help me on, I can learn something from someone, or I need suggestions from people, or I need people to act as those periodic sounding boards [00:26:00] when you're on a big journey. And have always been keeping them involved, keeping them updated about what is the progress I'm making, and how I want to move forward. So that's about the co-conspirators part.
Now, as a mentor, today, I play the role of a mentor to a lot of people. I'm also a formal coach, and I coach people in their life journeys as well. What I make sure I don't do is to ensure that it's empathy, and it doesn't boil down to sympathy is I listen to everything that they have to say, whatever challenges they are going through. I'm no one to judge whether it is right or wrong, somebody in their life is right or wrong, things have been fair, unfair, and I’m no one to judge. I always boil it down to asking questions to see what we want to do? And where do we want to go? So, in this process, I'm only making sure that I don't pass any of my judgment. It is what it is. So I ensure I don't pass any judgments there. But instead, ask them how can I help them to get to where they want to get to. That's what I do as a mentor.
Personally, I've been writing a book about my life story, and I call that book the Sine of Life. It's like my life has been like a sine curve. You know with all its crests and troughs all over. All ups and downs, I think what parents have taught me early on is to dream really big. And that's where, like I was mentioning in part one, where I was, in my fourth standard, I used to sign off as Sirisha and FRCS, I used to write it as Dr. Sirisha and FRCS. Right from the very beginning, I think they've taught me I've learned from them [00:28:00] to dream really big. And when I was dreaming big, that's when all of these smaller things seemed like hurdles. That's how I think I've always been picking up, trying not to get into self-pity. There are times when that happens. But at least it makes me more aware that I'm getting into a self-pity zone, and I better pull up my socks and start working towards what I want to work. So fundamental belief, or the mantra that I believe in is to be the best that you can be every single day.
Sanasi Kelkar: That's a really interesting answer. So there is a follow-up to that since you mentioned mentors, earlier as well. What I'm curious about is you have picked up mentors throughout your life, and how does one go about it? Often you meet people you would love to have as mentors. But how does one establish that relationship?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Reaching out to people with authenticity. Being your true self, talking about your vulnerabilities, and reaching out, and being very specific on what is the area that you want them to help you out on. This is something that has always worked, that's always helped, and got a lot of amazing people who have contributed to my life journey.
And even now, as we speak, there are a lot of mentors who helped me in different areas. I think where they say authenticity, what they appreciate is you being very open and talking in a very concrete sense and also showing your vulnerabilities. And you don't need to put up that it's not the LinkedIn kind of profile that you put out to people. But you actually talk about who you are, the real person that you are, what you're doing, and in doing what you're doing what are you really doing for yourself. Talking to people and connecting with people, whenever I find someone interesting, I make it a point that [00:30:00] I stay in touch with them. I make it a point that I share things with them.
Also, be very specific on what is it that I want them to help me on. Or where is it that I want their suggestions acting as a sounding board, or share some of their experiences? And it's worked beautifully. I think people are very open when you go with this. I've never ever gone to people saying get me this job or get me this role. Or, can you tell me what I should do? I've always made sure I did my homework before I reached out to people.
But I think people are very open. That's one area that we don't leverage too much today, is the collective experience of all people around us and people in our networks. There's so much that we can learn, we don't need to make all the same mistakes, at least some of them we don't need to make again.
Sanasi Kelkar: Absolutely right. And getting that communication skill in place, getting to know how to be okay, approaching people and how to stay in touch is also a life skill that is really useful.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Yes. And it's not just transactional. It's not just exchanging business cards and making sure you're bombarding them with messages. But it’s genuinely reaching out to people who you want to. The number of connections in your network really doesn't matter. But the depth of connections is what makes a difference.
Sanasi Kelkar: On this note, we’re going to take a short break. We'll be back with you talking about how you did the mental game, as we put it, how you handle the mental side of things, and how to stay prepared, which is what you can do going forward.
Welcome back to the CTQ Smartcast, we're speaking to Sirisha on how she rewired. And we are going on to talk to her about how the mental game is handled. So Sirisha, a question for you from Omkar is how do you [00:32:00] take care of your mental health?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Very interesting. Mental health is something that's gaining a lot of importance now. But back then, I'm talking about 1994, I didn't realize that it was very important to take care of it. But that's essentially what my family was doing to me, parents and my brother, my immediate family, close friends, they were ensuring that at no point in time, I would feel dejected. There was nothing special treatment or something in the sense that people were not treating me differently. So I was part of everyone, along with everyone. That made me a lot more comfortable. There's always somebody or the other to talk to. And I also had a lot of open conversations with my parents, which probably never got me to stress out about anything. And very pragmatic conversations, it was all about how do we solve the problem?
I think taking care of mental health is extremely important. Because today when I coach some people, and I'm talking to people in corporates, I see that people take a lot of pressure to their heart. It's a lot of undue pressure built, there's no real reason why they should have so much stress around. So taking care of that is extremely important. Even today, because I think I got used to that, I talk to friends, I constantly talk to people to understand what are my challenges, and I also do a lot of reflection. I understand myself well, and I know when is it that I need help. When is it that I should go and talk to someone? When is it that I can think and solve the problem on my own? Yeah, so being very conscious about how you handle your mental state, when is it that you will have conversations with others [00:34:00] so that you can separate the emotions from the real problem and objectively look at the real problem? It’s very important, according to me.
Sanasi Kelkar: Great. And you mentioned continuous reflection. Does documenting one's life story or keeping a journal every day, does it help?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Writing every day and journaling every day is something I've been doing for a while now. It helps me a lot because it brings closure to my day. It makes me realize that yes, I have done something today. Remember, I was talking about my primary motto in life is to be the best that I can be every single day. It makes me realize that yes today I've done something and in case it's not been a very fruitful day, it also helps me realize what I should do differently the next day. It's more like an account of yourself, you also write about your emotions, you write about things you should have done differently. So all of that when I look back at some of the old writings. In fact, I was looking at something that I was writing, the journal that I was maintaining when I was studying in Ahmedabad. And it's very fascinating and interesting to see the emotions when was I going through. And then small wins, which over a period of time, we tend to forget, and we don't celebrate those wins anymore.
Sanasi Kelkar: You actually have journals from a long time ago as well?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Yeah, from my IIM Ahmedabad days, simply because that was when I started writing using the computer. So the physical journals, I think my parents still have a couple of them that I used to write. But after that, I think a lot of stuff is what I've been documenting. And for me, while I'm trying to work on my book, now, I'm reading through a lot of those. And that's how I'm able to actually relive some of those emotions that I was going through, some of those thoughts, which now seem very childish, or which now seem very trivial [00:36:00] were real problems on few days. So it's very interesting, reading through that, and writing has also become very therapeutic because you're remembering the challenges, triumphs, and you're also giving yourself an opportunity to analyze yourself in the past. Also gives you that amount of comfort, you know, you're comforting yourself saying that these are all things that you did at some point in time, gives you an account of all the wins, the losses, even if they're very trivial ones, and, more importantly, all the emotions associated with them.
Sanasi Kelkar: So if you don't mind sharing what is the format in which you write your own journal? Is it a letter to yourself? Is it a structured way in which the positives, negatives, one thing I learned, etc.? How is your structure?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: It's mostly free-flowing. I try to talk about what I went through, what I could have done differently. And this has all evolved over time, I should say. My initial ones were just about how my day was, interesting people I spoke to, and what happened and what I didn't like about. And when I'm reading my journal I realized that was the first time I was living in a hostel away from home. A lot of other things that were going on, and how things were, how people were responding, how I was reacting, what I told people, all of that. It's just about an account of how my day was. To make sure it continues as a habit and even on real bad days when I don't have energy, I try writing a couple of lines. On good days when I'm in that zone of writing, it ends up becoming a couple of pages. There's no structure. [00:38:00] But I try to capture all of these in terms of how my day was, and the highs and the lows.
Sanasi Kelkar: And do you read every day as well? Is there a particular sort of information diet that you follow when it comes to staying on course with what you want to do in your life?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Everyday reading is, again, a habit that I've inculcated. As part of my reading diet, like you were calling it, I make sure I bookmark a lot of stuff. I make sure I'm spending a couple of hours reading. It is something that gets me into a very relaxed zone. It's also a rabbit hole, where I buffer to read for half an hour, I end up clicking on some links, one thing leads to another and I realize I've spent my entire day just reading. But I do that and I am also part of the CTQ reading compound, so it's 963 days that we have been reading every day collectively. That's also something that's going on. Reading has been a very integral part of me for a very long period of time now, maybe over 15 to 16 years.
Sanasi Kelkar: We move on to the last part of our conversation, here, where we just cross over into the idea of if we can do something today to prepare ourselves for situations like these, or at least to be ready to handle any situation that comes our way in a better manner. Do you think there are any skills that we can build today that will help us face situations better?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: A skill that gets built over a period of time and just gets better every day is reflecting and having a heightened level of self-awareness. Maybe because I realized the more I know about myself the more I will start loving myself and the more confident and balanced I will be in the decisions [00:40:00] I am taking, the way I am reacting and responding to situations.
Another thing I was mentioning earlier, is the whole aspect of being open, looking at things with an open mind, being flexible, adaptable, accepting your failure or setback at face value, and trying to figure out how you can get back. Get up every time you fall down.
And always shake yourself constantly out of your comfort zone. That will involve a lot of learning, unlearning, and relearning. I've seen this in the physical aspect of life also where, for me, it has been trying to learn how to stand up and walk. Initially, when I started walking, because I couldn't manage my body weight, it was like, moving here and there when I'm walking in, and not being able to walk in a straight line. And then you'll have to unlearn that, learn it. The same thing applies to all skills that we learn. Be open constantly. Shake yourself out of that comfort zone, because that, one, broadens your horizon, two, increases your depth, three, makes you very active mentally to constantly keep learning.
Sanasi Kelkar: And you mentioned how exercise is a big part of your life, because of your rehabilitation as well. But even otherwise, do you sense that when you're exercising, and when you're making sure you address your physical health as well, that you're sharper and your mental health improves as well?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Like they say, a sound mind in a sound body. I think that's extremely true. The amount of physical activity, while all of us know the science of it. It releases all the chemicals that make us feel good and happy. I think physically being alert and active triggers a lot of [00:42:00] balance in me. And continuously exercising, for me, it's like a good thing done for my body. Over a period of time, I think I learned to treasure my body and give it due respect. I've realized that it also makes me really active to pick things up faster and get things done faster, on days that I start with exercising significantly and then sitting and working. That's very important, according to me.
Sanasi Kelkar: And a question related to reflection, which you mentioned earlier, is you also said that you shouldn't be judgmental. So how do you reflect on your own behavior or on your own day? What have you done without being judgmental? What sort of outlook should you have while doing these self-reflection exercises?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: It's like how they tell in meditation. When you're meditating, you don't have to control your thoughts, you just let the thoughts pass, and you look at them as an observer. For me, in my reflection, the reflection exercises that I do very often. I do that just looking at my life from standing as a third person, and seeing what all is going on. And all the emotions that come with each thing, the things that I don't like, I get angry at someone, I feel sorry for myself, all of that just as a third person standing and looking at what I'm doing. And then look at do I want to change any of this is? Are any of these things making me unhappy? And what do I want to change about it?
Over a period of time, they'll also help you realize how you will respond or react to certain situations. And if those are things that you want to control, that's the best data input that you can get. You know, when a conversation goes to this level, that is when I will start snapping at people. Then if I don't want that to happen, because it's making me feel bad, then I will make sure I don't take the conversation to that level [00:44:00]. Or if the conversation is going to that level, the moment it reaches just probably a couple of minutes before that itself, there'll be all these red alarms ringing in my head saying just stop, or you're going down that same path again.
I think over a period of time, you'll start understanding how you respond and react to different things. And that's how reflection helps. It also helps you understand what’s your passion, what’s the area that you want to work on. Because you figure out that constantly, there are certain things that you do that invariably evoke a positive response, or a feeling of happiness, or a sense of satisfaction in you. And what is it that you want to do about it?
Sanasi Kelkar: In your work experience when you're helping people of different companies grow and realize their potential, is there a problem or is there a question that you face over and over again from different people, which is commonly seen? Something that is a pattern, a way in which you find yourself constantly telling the same thing to multiple people, an area that probably affects us all.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: A lot of times people say this is what is the current situation, this is where we want it to be. Change is not magical; change is not going to happen overnight. You're talking about people and behaviours. It takes some period of time to change. So that's something that constantly comes up where everybody wants, like a magical shift, can we get it done in three months and five months. And the other part is the whole role that people play.
For instance, if it's individuals, the role the ecosystem around them plays, if it's an organization and an employee in an organization, its the role the culture of the organization which may play a significant role in how the person responds, or how a person reacts to a certain situation, making people understand that [00:46:00] all of these are interlinked. It is not A is bad, B is good. But A behaves in a certain way because of XYZ reasons. And B behaves in a certain way, because of ABC reason. Nothing is standalone, how a person responds, they're not bots, how a person responds, reacts, performs, how a team performs, how an organization performs is a sum total of multiple things. And looking at things at that deeper level is very important.
The third thing that constantly comes up is a lot of times people talk about symptoms. We tend to react to symptoms a lot more than actually taking that effort, or facing that ambiguity to dig deeper into finding the real problem. And that's what I help people do.
Sanasi Kelkar: Last question. Do you look at people who complain about lesser things and wonder how to tell them how to change their view of thinking?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Not changing anybody's view or thinking, but for me, when I was 13, whatever I went through, at that point, whether I was breathing or not, was the issue, everything else was not. For me, when I look at any other challenge in life, it seems like a small line in front of a bigger line. So if I rate that as 100, whether I'm breathing or not, as a challenge at 100, everything else for me when I benchmark my problems and challenges always falls less than 40. That's for me about how I look at other setbacks that I have constantly encountered at some point in life or the other. When I look at telling people I know, I am very conscious that I don't trivialize their problem. For everyone, their problem is the big problem. I consciously make sure that I don't trivialize it. At the same time, I keep drawing references [00:48:00] to bigger problems that the same individual has faced and try marking that as 100 and see, everything else is less than that. I think fundamentally, what helps is as I was mentioning earlier also is separating the emotions from the problem. That helps things seem much smaller than what they actually seem to be initially.
Sanasi Kelkar: We end this talk with a few rapid-fire questions, not in a very Karan Johar style at all, a very CTQ style. I'm just going to fire them off. You give me your answers as you think best. So are you ready?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Sure.
Sanasi Kelkar: The first thing you think of when you're faced with bad news.
Sirisha: Let's face it.
Sanasi Kelkar: One really underestimated habit.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Reflection.
Sanasi Kelkar: If you could write one motto on the walls of your children's room, what would it be?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Be the best that you can be every single day.
Sanasi Kelkar: The one skill or ability that helped you navigate this life.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: My dreams. Power of dreaming if it's a skill.
Sanasi Kelkar: And if you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Have super high energy levels all through the day so I can get a lot more done in my day.
Sanasi Kelkar: What's one thing you would change about yourself?
Sirisha Bhamidipati: My discipline to sticking to my sleep routine. Sometimes work gets very exciting and I end up working long hours.
Sanasi Kelkar: A lasting advice to get out of any situation that you face yourself.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Work hard, figure out how to get out of that situation if it's a bad one, or how to navigate it to figure light at the end of the dark tunnel.
Sanasi Kelkar: Alright, thanks a lot Sirisha. It has been an incredible journey. And thanks a lot for giving us ideas and tips which we can probably think of, to better ourselves. Thanks a lot.
Sirisha Bhamidipati: Thanks, Sanasi. I had fun talking to you. [00:50:00]
[End of Part 2]